The Fine Art of ‘BALANCE’

In my training and coaching practice, I come across many individuals who are bright, intelligent and capable but are stuck in problems and situations that seem to hold them back for years. It’s sad to see them question their own capabilities and Limit their own potential. No matter how much others encourage them, they seem locked in some kind of inertia, some kind of inner muck that stops them from shining brightly and breaking free.

If you ask your loved ones, Do you think I am successful? Am I worthy of the things I seek? Do I deserve great things in life? Their answer is usually a strong resounding ‘YES’.

Your parents, children, spouse, coach or friends who seek to build you up will always say, “You are great sweetheart!”, you can do it! You deserve more of everything in life!

And usually, they mean it and are quite right about it!

So what’s the problem? Why then are you sitting in a corner, filled with self-doubt and drowning in inertia? Why then are you feeling stuck, confused and helpless? Why then are you myopic in your vision, reserved about reaching for more, afraid of asking for something better and fitting yourself within narrow boxes of compromise? A job you are not happy with or a relationship that gives you very little or nothing. Not following your passion or putting up with abuse? Why then are you living a life of disappointment, discontentment, self-depreciation and fake confidence?

Ask yourself…why? Why am I doing this? Is it really others who hold me back? Is it really the lack of resources? Is it true that it’s  not the right time to make a move?

The truth is that there is nothing standing between you and your glorious life but ‘YOUR SELF’.
The truth is bitter, isn’t it? No one likes to hear that ‘YOU ARE THE REASON, yet, you know it!

Deep in your heart, a little voice, so little that it speaks right to your subconscious mind, keeping you in the dark. It asks questions that poison your being, putting you down, sabotaging your actions, weakening your resolve.

The little voice that questions

Am I worthy of all this love? Do I really deserve a magnificent life? Am I really good? What will others think? What if I am wrong?

The little voice that mocks

Who are you kidding. Come to your senses. Don’t be stupid. You are lucky to even have this. Don’t be greedy! This is all you deserve!

The little voice that compromises

Your dreams are too big. You will never make it. It’s too difficult. You have tried this before. Be happy with what you have!

The little voice that convinces

That’s a good boy/girl! Just sit back and see what happens. Don’t say or do anything
Just hope things get better. That’s all you can do right now

That little voice. That little sleazy, disgusting, discouraging, disoriented, obsolete voice, Taking control over you. Stopping you. Killing your future.

So the truth here, my dear friends, is that no matter what others say, how much they think you deserve, how much they encourage you, it is you, your little voice that will ultimately take charge. If you really what to breakthrough to a whole new level, beyond your limited goals, beyond your doubts, to a life full of confidence, respect, worthiness, high self-esteem, and abundance, you have to begin with changing the nature of your inner voice!

And how am I to do that? You may ask…

Can I ask it to shut up?
Can I ignore it?
Can I supersede it with positive thoughts?
Can I erase it forever?

I’m sure you have tried, but it keeps coming back. Doesn’t it?

How do you stop this persistent self-sabotaging voice?

Change the nature of your inner voice.

Note this down and never forget this little secret…

The only way to do it is to give it ‘PROOF’

Proof of your strengths, proof of your accomplishments, proof of your power!

When the little voice holds you back, there are two things you can do.

One is to question it back and say, hey what you say is not right! and proceed to think of all the instances in the past when who have proven your ability, proven your worth, or displayed a certain strength. Question the little voice of doubt, criticism, mockery or weakness. Question it dispassionately.

Weaken the voice with proof of all the great things you have said, done or accomplished in the past.

The next second step is to ‘Take action despite what the voice says’.

If you are weak today, your negative inner voice will be stronger. As you take action and do things that you never thought you could do or did not deserve, you prove to the little inner voice that it is wrong and you are right. You become stronger than the voice.

And as you keep doing this, one day you will notice that the nature of your inner voice has changed. It now has proof of your worthiness, it now knows your capabilities.

Your inner voice now is your ally from inside. It supports you, it encourages you, it comforts you.

And till you get there keep trying, keep giving it proof. Keep taking action despite all odds. Because deep down you know, you are worth it!

So my dear friend, remember that ‘Outside victory is to be won by excelling in the inner game’. You may fake success, you make fake happiness, you may pretend everything is fine and hope things get better on their own. But the only way you can experience true worthiness, happiness, and success if to win over what you think and feel about yourself.

Self-respect, Self-esteem and worthiness are not just fancy words in books of psychology, but your true essence.

Begin your inner journey of victory now, trust me, it’s worth it!


(C) Seema Shenoy Manek. Life and Success Coach and Peak Performace Trainer. Bangalore. India